HOW to keep a Vision (aka mission, purpose, yonder star, etc.) in charge of your day-to-day life is always a challenge.

People committed to a purpose often find themselves on a long winding route to somewhere and then wonder… am I even on the path anymore?… and what was I trying to do in the first place?
Does this sound familiar?

Typically, when you have a vision (purpose, yonder star, etc.), you immediately start to take the actions necessary to have the vision come alive in reality. Inevitably, you hit a snag (aka problem) and then spend your valuable time and energy solving the immediate problems while still thinking you are on the way to your vision.

Actually, what almost always happens when you focus on the immediate problems, you end up on some detour moving away from the vision! It’s like our compass is BROKEN!!

I am delighted to welcome Nicola Platts to our coaching team.  Nicola is a highly qualified relationships coach with over a decade’s experience of working with Relate.  She specialises in Marriage and Family Coaching.

Nicola will be offering our new Marriage MOT service. Many couples wait for their relationship to breakdown before you ask for help! Our Marriage MOT takes a look under the bonnet of your relationship to diagnose any issues before they become a major, sometimes terminal, problem.  During the 1-hour session, Nicola will take a look at what isn’t working as well as you’d like in your relationship.  She will help you both to identify potential problems early and put strategies in place to deal with them in the future.

For many, the one-off session is all that is needed. For those with more serious challenges, we offer a 5-session intensive program to help you identify and deal with whatever comes up in a powerful way.
 
These matters are intensely private. But if anyone in your team, family or friends is facing increased relationship pressures from personal stress and anxiety you owe it to them not to ignore it. We urge you to encourage them to reach out for help.

Simply contact Nicola at info@certuscoaching.co.uk for an expert, confidential conversation leading to any help that may be required.

Underneath the 9 ways you tend to hold yourself back from the highest levels of success are 3 hidden beliefs that stop you:

1. I’m scared…

2. I don’t know what to do…

3. I’m not enough…

1. I’m scared…

You are the descendant of thousands of generations of very fearful people. In fact, any of your ancestors who lacked fear, probably didn’t get to pass their genes on! Healthy fear isn’t a bad thing. It’s designed to keep you safe. But unconscious fear isn’t healthy. There are 3 categories of fear:

(i) People: I’m afraid of what people will say or think of me… If I fail. If I succeed. If I’m more visible. If I speak, write, make videos. If I start and then give up.

(ii) Time/Energy: I’m afraid it will take over my life… I’ll be overwhelmed or exhausted. I won’t be able to follow through.

(iii) Money: I’m afraid I’ll run out of money… I’m afraid I’ll lose all my money. I’m afraid I’ll be homeless. I’m afraid I’ll end up as a bag lady. (Sometimes it’s the flip side of this fear: I’m afraid I’ll make too much money… Then, my family won’t like me any more. Then, I’ll be more successful than my father. Then, I’ll have even more to lose.)

2. I don’t know what to do… 

This looks like a problem of a lack of information, skill, connection or motivation. Actually, it’s just a cover for one of the fears above but let’s break down the 4 types of “I don’t know what to do.”

(i) Information: I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know where to start (I’m overwhelmed by all the options).

(ii) Skills: I don’t know what to do (lack of knowledge, eg. I need better marketing skills or networking skills)

(iii) Connections: I don’t know who to ask. I don’t know the right people. I have difficulty in asking for what I want.

(iv) Motivation: I’m not driven enough. Eg. I have plenty of money, so I don’t need to start yet.

3. I’m not enough… 

A deep fear of most humans is that they’re not enough. This shows up in two common ways:

(i) I don’t believe in myself: I doubt myself/I’m not good enough/Why would they listen to me?

(ii) I’m scared of rejection: I’d rather not ask for what I want than to hear the word, “no!”

Here are the 9 most common ways I see leaders get in their own way:

Perfecting – you hold back from taking action until things are 100% perfect. So you never get to achieve at the level you are truly capable.

Giving – you’re so good at giving to others but you rarely – if ever – accept the help you need to accomplish something bigger.

Performing – you don’t know how to switch off, so you’re exhausted. You want to achieve something extraordinary but you don’t have the energy to achieve at a truly great level.

Emoting – your emotions are your gift but you can get so focused on your own feelings that you feel overwhelmed and don’t take action.

Observing – you’re an expert who spends so much time researching and studying, in service of your big mission, that you never get to really put it out in the world.

Guarding – you’re so good at scanning the horizon for danger that you constantly run on adrenaline. You’re held back by self-doubt and lack of confidence.

Adventuring – you don’t want to say no to any of the amazing options in front of you. You’re spread so thin that you never really make the impact that you’re here for.

Superheroing – you’re so good at solving problems, you unconsciously create new ones, just to solve them.

Peacekeeping – you’re great at solving conflict and you love creating harmony. But you sometimes go along with others’ wishes, or you say “yes” to things you do not really want to do.

Do you have a big mission that you’re struggling with?
Do you have a big goal that’s been on your list for weeks, months or even years?
Are you resentful of people for standing in the way of what you really want to create?

You’re not alone, I can relate to all of these.

The only way through is to turn the mirror back on yourself. You see, there’s a way you unconsciously hold yourself back from success. It’s a pattern you default to again and again. And, if you don’t take time to look at how you’re getting in your own way, you’ll waste all your time judging and blaming others.

Simply contact me via info@certuscoaching for an free expert confidential conversation to explore how #executivecoaching can get you to that next level of #success.

For many business leaders the current crisis is a time of great stress and anxiety.  It is important to recognise the negative impact this can have upon your decision making.  As well as this, people look to leaders to be calm and deliberate in their decisions and actions. Leaders who react to stressful events in highly emotional ways can add to people’s stress and anxiety. Leaders can start by slowing down, taking stock of their stress and understanding what is causing an emotional reaction. Even when facing the demands of a high-profile crisis, leaders must take breaks to reset and refocus.

Being able to talk things through or getting a different view of a challenge is vital. 

Being a leader is one’s natural self-expression. It does not come from learning and trying to emulate the characteristics or styles of noteworthy leaders, or learning what effective leaders do and trying to emulate them (and most certainly not from merely being in a leadership position, or position of authority). If you are not ’being’ a leader, and you try to act like a leader, you are likely to fail. That’s called being inauthentic (playing a role or pretending to be a leader), deadly in any attempt to exercise leadership.

As employers close offices in an effort to prevent the spread of COVID-19, here’s advice for how to work from home more effectively during this time.

With people now under social isolation in an effort to slow the spread of coronavirus, employers are struggling with the new reality of establishing protocols for working from home. Productive home workers will be necessary to keep the economy going as companies strive to maintain business continuity. And, staying engaged with daily work could be an important source of stimulation for isolated individuals. But the lightning-quick transition to a remote-work economy will not be easy for everyone.

Even for people like myself who have worked from home for many years, there is the challenge of no longer having the house to myself and having to share resources with other family members working from home.  The first thing to recognise is that work itself may well feel different than before. You may have children or other family members at home that require attention. They might be worried about their health, the health of their parents and grandparents, or the security of their income. If they’re confined to their home, they might feel restless or frustrated.

Business leaders need to recognise that their employees are going through a lot. It isn’t just work as usual but done from home, it’s work carried out within the home environment which normally isn’t an environment conducive to working with its many distractions. Throughout this sudden transition, psychological studies offer insights on how to work from home, both for first-time and experienced remote workers juggling new demands.

Here are tips to help you work from home effectively while social isolation measures remain in effect.

Minimise distractions

Start by choosing a workspace separated from household noises and activity if possible,  ideally a room with a door you can close. Next, work to mentally distance yourself from those disturbances so you can fully engage with work tasks. Communicate to family members that this is work time and as such they should treat it like any normal day at the office and to as far as possible avoid interruption.

Of course, the stress around the Covid-19 can make it tough to stay focused. Creating news-free times to disconnect from the crisis and recharge, for instance by reading a book or taking a walk outside (your once a day exercise). You might also spend a few minutes at the start of each day thinking about why the work you’re doing matters to your clients, co-workers and your organisation.

For those juggling work and childcare responsibilities, it is always best to have a conversation with colleagues so you can best arrange your day when distractions are minimal, such as early mornings or late evenings, to do your most important work, and coordinating with a spouse or partner on childcare duties when possible.

Set outcomes and boundaries

Set daily outcomes for actions you wish to accomplish or project milestones to reach, working through your outcomes with your organisation when needed. Consider sharing those outcomes with co-workers or family members to help you focus. Making public commitments to others about what you will accomplish that day helps hold you accountable.

Studies have shown that remote workers experience a blurring of boundaries between their home and work lives. When you’re working from an office, there’s a natural start and stop time. It’s important to have similar boundaries and routines when working from home. Routine is key, aim to stick to the same schedule each day and if possible, stop checking messages and email when your workday ends (a good practice to keep when things return to normal).

Make a communication plan

Both the organisation and the employees should communicate what the expectations and any difficulties that may arise are. If you’re having trouble executing tasks because of technology or equipment issues you should communicate this to your manager/boss straight away so that everyone is aware of the situation.  Not communicating may give the impression you aren’t working productively. One of the most often overlooked aspects for business leaders and managers living in this new world of working from home, is that they do not work out specific arrangements for when and how communication will continue to flow. If you’re sharing information, reports or analyses, email may be the best way to correspond. But if you’re working with a team to make sense of complex shared information, schedule a phone call or video conference to discuss. For some leaving the video link running might help with both communicating and giving the illusion of a “normal“ workplace, especially if you are use to bouncing ideas off others.

Seek social connection

When working from home, people can experience social and professional isolation compared with employees who work in a company office. Those feelings of loneliness will likely be worse now, as “social distancing” measures cut workers off from their in-person social support systems outside of work as well.

“Staying connected to other co-workers, managers and customers is therefore paramount. While it might be tempting to think of yourself as an island working from home, we need to provide a social and professional support system to each other so that the social fabric that occurs in the corporate workplace is replicated as much as possible when working remotely.

Managers might provide opportunities for informal conversation during phone or video conferences so employees can continue to build healthy and supportive relationships. A company may also create a designated online messaging space for coronavirus-related and other chatter, including news and office updates, personal stories and requests for supplies or guidance.

I do hope this proves useful.  Should you wish to talk through any challenges you face, please drop me a line.

While ontology as a general subject is concerned with the being of anything, here we are concerned with the ontology of human beings (the nature and function of being for human beings). Specifically, as a coach, I am concerned with the ontology of leaders and leadership (the nature and function of being for a leader and the actions of effective leadership). Who one is being when being a leader shapes one’s perceptions, emotions, creative imagination, thinking, planning, and consequently one’s actions in the exercise of leadership.

Being a leader and the effective exercise of leadership as one’s natural self-expression does not come from learning and trying to emulate the characteristics or styles of noteworthy leaders, or learning what effective leaders do and trying to emulate them (and most certainly not from merely being in a leadership position, or position of authority). If you are not being a leader, and you try to act like a leader, you are likely to fail. That’s called being inauthentic (playing a role or pretending to be a leader), deadly in any attempt to exercise leadership.

At this time of year people reflect upon their dreams and goals for 2019.  A good place to start is this time last year, January 2018.  What was important to you, what were your dreams and goals?

Taking the time to reflect on 2018 gives you the opportunity to be more intentional in the year ahead.  This is not about making resolutions (which usually don’t last anyway), but about deciding how you want to participatein your life and start living it out now to make 2019 a year of achievement.

Most people never give themselves the opportunity to step back and see where they are in life. Like an artist stepping back from his easel, it’s a fundamental part of assessing how far you’ve come, and where you want to go.

If you’ve never heard of a ‘life audit’ then there’s a good chance you’ll really benefit from one. Put simply, it’s an exercise in self-reflection, allowing us to really look at every single area of our lives, taking stock of things like our goals and distractions, and assessing our overall fulfilment.

Now most of us have a pretty good idea of our goals and downfalls anyway, and that self-awareness is certainly necessary for personal growth. What makes a life audit really beneficial however, is that it lets us look at the bigger picture in a much more objective way. This in turn allows us to formulate plans for achieving our goals, improve areas of our lives that may have been neglected, and chase the things that make us feel fulfilled. It’s essentially a status report for your soul – and there’s plenty of ways in which you can do it. Here’s one.

1) 2018

The first step is to reflect on your goals and dreams for 2018.  Did you achieve them?  For the things you achieved you can give yourself a pat on the back.  The things that didn’t happen, where were you stopped? Did you even get started?  Write a list of unfulfilled goals, next to them write down what happened. Then lastly, what have you learned and what could you have done differently?

2) The Wheel of Life

Simple visual tools are fantastic for this sort of thing, because they keep your audit from become overwhelmingly complicated. ‘The Wheel of Life’ is arguably the most effective way to gauge the balance in your life and your fulfilment in each key area. It covers all the important things, including self-image, work, friends, romance, and personal growth.

Each colour represents a different area of life, while the concentric circles mark satisfaction levels, from 0 to 10, with 10 being the highest. When you’ve got a few moments print out a copy, and colour in the levels that apply to you. The areas are only suggested ones.  You can change them to be more relevant to you. For example, if you wish to focus on your business you can change them to the areas of business important to you. Keep it honest. It only takes a short time to do and this exercise can really highlight imbalances that may not have otherwise occurred to you. These are the difficult areas to focus on when you are setting your goals for 2019.