1. Situation —  You’ve had enough. Enough of your financial problems, enough of your uninspiring career, enough of that extra 20 pounds you’ve been carrying around, your relationship heading for the rocks.

2. Dissatisfaction — Whatever you’re doing doesn’t work for you anymore. Maybe it’s not profitable, and maybe it’s not fun. Maybe you’re tired of not having the energy you know you need to accomplish your desired result. Your current approach might have been successful in the past, but it hasn’t adapted to your current conditions.

3. Threshold — Change becomes a “must.”

4. Insight — You get an insight, or deep understanding of something, and that creates an opening.

5. Opening — A door opens…and you step through right through it.

Breakthroughs begin with holding a picture of what could be. Then from being committed to something even if the path to achieve it is unclear. Breakthroughs aren’t something we make, because to make something is to take what’s there and change it. A breakthrough is to take what isn’t there and have it be. Breakthroughs evidence themselves quantifiably, they’re always moving in a positive direction. Breakthroughs allow for sudden powerful insights that take us past our self-imposed limitations. Breakthroughs alter our sense of who we are, alter the quality of our life, alter being alive. Breakthroughs are brought forth, created, generated through a bold declaration.

We don’t give the idea of breakthroughs a whole lot of thought, we mostly focus on the day-to-day business of living. If we get stopped or stuck along the way, we naturally attempt to figure out more, better, or different scenarios to accomplish what we are after, but most often do so within the same framework, leading only to incremental improvements. Given, however, that both what we’re engaged with and how things occur for us are shaped by language, we have the power to be the author of our lives. Language gives us direct access to ourselves, to who we are, to creating possibility, not possibility like options, but possibility like the boundless dimension that’s added to the world by the human ability to create. Things that live as a possibility have a much different impact on the quality of our lives than those things that live like more, better, and different. Breakthroughs are about creating an extraordinary life as a place from which to come, rather than a place to get.

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

An organisation’s culture is like gravity. You can’t see it or touch it, but it exerts a constant pull that holds things in place. Like gravity, culture is made tangible by its effects; it can be seen in the behaviours and practices of an organisation’s management and employees. An unseen culture is restrictive, disruptive and can undermine morale, productivity and profits.

The need for culture change is becoming more and more frequent. In order for organisations to face the challenges and opportunities the future will bring, addressing the question of culture change is widely accepted by business leaders as essential. However, what is meant by culture change can cause confusion.

Most leaders attempt to bring about cultural change through top-down initiatives that are aimed at influencing behaviours and practices. These programs often fail because they address the effects of culture, leaving its causes unseen and unchanged. Executive Coaching works with its clients to create initiatives in which people can successfully step outside their familiar frameworks to identify and address the embedded attitudes, assumptions and ways of thinking that drive behaviour and hold the culture’s limitations in place. In doing so, participants gain the freedom to act in new ways, and to forge a new culture based on common commitment.

Among the principal benefits of culture change are improved morale and productivity.

Our “identity,” who we consider ourselves to be, is essentially arrived at by default, assembled to adapt to something we saw as wrong or some seeming insufficiency. Mostly when we were young and learning to deal with life, we made decisions to get through the circumstances we encountered. Those decisions worked at the time, so we kept them around, inadvertently defining who we are today, and leaving us with a subtle but disconcerting inability to be fully at home with ourselves.

A kind of absurdity lies in acting as if who we are today is a compilation of those ways of being we put together way back then. Once our “identity” is seen for what it is, it becomes clear that it’s not fixed or set and we’re not in any way stuck with those ways of being. Stepping outside of our identity, however, isn’t so easy, as our identity has achieved a certain density throughout our lives. In recognising that who we consider ourselves to be is not an absolute, we reveal what’s possible in being human—giving us hands-on access to a world that’s malleable and open to being invented.

https://hbr.org/2013/01/nine-rules-for-stifling-innova.html

Has your drinks machine talk taken a turn toward the nasty? Gossip is one of the “five telltale signs” of job burnout along with frequent complaints, chronic tardiness, exhaustion and lowered standards,

People experiencing job burnout often resort to acts of sabotage, using gossip as a destructive force, says Aimee Cohen, author of “Woman Up! Overcome the 7 Deadly Sins that Sabotage Your Success” (Morgan James Publishing, 2014).

Sometimes, gossip is merely a “diversion from what they’re supposed to be doing,” Cohen says. But at other times it serves as a cover-up. Feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated, burnout sufferers may become unreliable. They blow deadlines, come unprepared to meetings and fail to meet their usual high standards. As these sorts of self-sabotaging behaviors ramp up, they may speak poorly of others to make themselves look better, Cohen explains.

Those who experience what Cohen calls “burnout with bitterness” are looking to sabotage others. “When that happens, typically you’re looking to take someone down with you,” usually because your target has imposed unrealistic expectations on you or subjected you to harsh working conditions, she says. Gossip then becomes a way to discredit the perceived tormentor.

When gossip stems from a legitimate “gripe”, it builds a narrative around the complaint in which the teller is the put-upon good person and someone else is the bad person.

But gripe gossip seldom if ever improves things for the good person. Others may agree with the gossiper that things are bad and shouldn’t be that way, but a misdirected complaint never gets resolved.

Turn the complaint into a request and take it to the right person. Ongoing complaining and whining saps what little energy you have left, but requests produce results.

Ask yourself first what the complaint is underneath the gossip. Has the boss assigned more work than you can handle? Are coworkers not doing their share and expecting you to pick up the slack?

If you’ve got more on your plate than you can handle, instead of complaining to coworkers, ask your boss to sit down and prioritise what you’ll do now, what you’ll put off and what can be done by someone else, often, this process eliminates things from the to-do list altogether.

Don’t be surprised if the source of your troubles turns out to be you. Your problems could be self-imposed. I call it the competency curse, always wanting to say yes, to lend a helping hand. Men as well as women, we tend to overextend ourselves,” Cohen says.

You may need to follow a series of red flags back to your underlying complaint, and even to the realisation that what you’re experiencing is burnout. “No one likes to admit they’re burned out because we all want to be the superhero with endless capacity and drive,” Cohen says.

Gossip or any other behaviors that are out of character are red flags, including a short temper, trouble remembering names, misplacing things and sleeping through the alarm. “Everyone has a finite bandwidth, and these are all signs that we’ve exceeded it,” Cohen says.

When the red flags point to self-imposed burnout, recovery starts with clarifying your career goals. Once those goals are clear, it is easier to turn down work that does not bring you closer to achieving them, Cohen says.

To regain control and credibility, list all your unfinished work and missed deadlines, and schedule time for each to-do item. Get it down on paper. It’s too overwhelming if it’s just in your head.
Experiencing burnout does not necessarily mean it’s time to change jobs, but if expressing your concerns to the right person doesn’t improve your situation, it may be best to explore other options.

Find out more about how Executive Life Coaching can help.

A little knowledge about how you mind/brain works can go a long way!

If you are always planning or hoping to change your life but it never quite happens, Mr Procrastination is probably in charge!  Come along and find out hoe Coaching can make a difference.

Although this insight is aimed at people celebrating Christmas, whatever your religion, this insight is one that can apply to any special occasion.

It’s easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed when preparing for Christmas. Every year we start off with an image in our head of the perfect Christmas. So, how can you make the most of Christmas, rather than be preoccupied with everything (and everyone) not living up to your expectations of how it should be? It should snow? Everyone should be happy? Everyone should go to church? Whatever it is that is there for you.

In reality, no one can control the weather or has the time and energy to do all the things that create your picture perfect Christmas. 
The key to overcoming unrealistic ideals is to identify where your picture comes from and how that gets in the way of you having a great Christmas. Once you understand that those ideals are not of your own making, you can start to create your perfect day based on what is really important to you.

Want to avoid the pitfall of “perfection seeking” and have a relaxing and enjoyable Christmas? Ask yourself these three simple questions:

What’s your picture of the ‘perfect’ Christmas? 
Get clear on the picture in your head that you’re trying to live up to. Maybe it is providing a Christmas dinner like your mum did when you where a child, a house that’s impeccably and tastefully decorated? Or maybe it is your children being charming and well behaved with no disagreements? Think about what perfect means to you.

Where did that picture come from? 
Maybe it’s from a film where everyone is singing Christmas songs around the piano. Or, it is snowing and you are playing snowballs and building a snowman. Are you aiming for “A Christmas Carol” or other Christmas pictures painted in your head by other books? Are you trying to keep up with the friend you admire? Once you realise this picture isn’t something you created, you are free to create your own version now, in the present. This is where the last question comes into play.

What’s really important to you? 
Maybe it is not about the snow or how many presents you get. Maybe it is about family and friends spending time together, guests feeling welcome in your home, everyone feeling appreciated and special. Maybe your special Christmas is about being relaxed and having fun. Create your own theme and when Christmas is underway, keep that theme front and center. Theme suggestions might be: fun, relaxation, appreciation or anything that truly inspires you.

Come up with a theme that expresses what gets to the heart of what Christmas is for you. Let that guide you. Anytime you notice you’re getting upset or annoyed, stop and ask yourself, “to be true to that theme, what would I do or say right now?”

Let your theme, such as appreciation, be your guide when it comes to planning what you will and will not do to prepare for Christmas. This will help you stay grounded and present during Christmas. 
The point is to connect with people – having them know you care, being gracious, whatever is important to you. Truly focus on the things that really matter to you and practice accepting Christmas and yourself, exactly as they are. You’ll see that not so perfect can really be, perfect.