I came to Dave because I was really stuck in a rut. I was in a job and industry I didn’t especially care for, and it’s not even as if I was making decent money, I was just treading water, wasting time, really. I felt that while the situation wasn’t great, all the alternatives I could see were worse. My outlook was extremely limited. My social life wasn’t good either; I was quite isolated and lonely. The funny thing is, I didn’t actually realise all this at the time, I just knew that I felt bad and wanted it to stop. I think that without really noticing it, being “stuck in a rut” can develop into a more serious situation, and that’s the way I felt like I was heading. Before I knew it, it might have been five years later and things might have been the same, only I would probably be feeling even worse.
Dave is friendly and energetic, but the main part of his approach seems to be to always find ways to broaden our thinking. With me, he looked for ways to help me see where I was limiting myself, where I was closing off possibilities or sticking to one path without even noticing it, and he did this by helping me to see why I was doing those things.
He helped me evaluate what I really enjoy doing, and helped me to naturally develop a much more creative, open-minded, and energetic approach. He gave me homework that I followed very closely, and in this way supported me to create concrete plans for changing my life. At it’s most basic level, the help he gives is extremely pragmatic, but when we’re stuck, we sometimes need to understand what is happening, why and yes, we need a little hand up.
The advice part worked because it was practical advice, and it helped to have a large problem broken into very small, manageable amounts, concrete deadlines by which to complete these manageable tasks, and growing confidence and enthusiasm as the actions started to pay off and things became fun. It’s the kind of thing we can all do for ourselves when we aren’t stuck in a rut, but then that’s the problem isn’t it? Some of us find it difficult to admit when we need a hand moving on.
Things are really changing. I explored much more actively, tried a good few different things, started to understand why I liked the things I liked, and did more of them. I was surprised to realise that I’m actually a very sociable person, but I’d been lonely and down for so long that I’d forgotten that it’s something that I need and can do well. Volunteering helped with that, and so my social life improved a lot as a sort of by-product, we didn’t even talk very much about that!
I found a volunteering opportunity I absolutely loved and threw myself into it. That was a start, but Dave helped me to start looking for a job in the field, and after a few months working on that, I’m very happy to say that I’m scheduled to start a new job in a few days. I’ve never been so excited about going to work before! I even still have one interview to go for a simply amazing opportunity, so hey, it might just get even better!
This process didn’t happen overnight, but it’s been hugely valuable, worthwhile and fun. In terms of the investment, I’ve successfully been able to tackle the biggest problems in my life, and I feel very positive about my current direction.
Oliver Platts
January 2018